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The curse of insomnia creeps up when the day becomes night, and the sky becomes black. Sometimes it’s a constant thing for an individual, sometimes it happens unexpectedly, and your mind seems to wander, becoming wrapped up in unrealistic thoughts and fears start to pull at your heart strings.

Why does this issue occur? Throughout the day we are occupied, at work, studying, talking to friends, spending time with family and getting tasks done. However when the night falls, we are alone, in our rooms, the day slows down, we have time to think, to let our minds generate ideas, thought processes, scenarios and our mental stability can collapse in a matter of seconds, temporarily.

Our fears are what define us, it’s what makes us who we are, it is what pushes us to become the best of ourselves, to have no limitations. What are my biggest fears in life? In my mind I am happy, I make myself believe that I do not have any fears, and that my life is complete, I make myself believe that I do not need anyone to make me happy, or material objects. In my mind, I have what I need, and what I need is enough. But this is far from the truth. Because when you have time to stop and think about it, your subconsciousness kicks in, and all of the pain, emptiness and fear reveals itself in a quick moment.

Like most people, my fears are simple, yet the only objects stopping me from achieving what I need to, they are limitations that I have set myself without any intention to, without any control over the matter. I fear that one day I will not be happy with a decision I have made, that I will lead myself down the wrong path, and regret. I fear that I will never meet my soul mate, and I will one day marry and create a life with the wrong person. I fear that I will not succeed in my career, and that perhaps I will regret my career path. So in summary, I am fearful of life, of what my life will become.

What will my life become?

I will not let my fears impact the way I live my life. I will live in the moment, making everyday count, every second, holding precious memories in my mind and letting go of things that are made and meant to stay in the past.

After all… If you spend your life fearing and worrying, you’re not living and if you’re not living, there is no point…

 

T x

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